A Misogynist, Look To Him For Control

Some years back, I received an information package on domestic violence and amongst the information there was an article written by Dr. Susan Forward and Joan Torres.

I had not taken a look at their article until now. The articleis entitled, Men Who Hate Women And The Women Who Love Them.Dr. Susan Forward is a therapist, with many years of experience behind her. She often works with women in troubled relationships. In her article, Dr. Forward, explains that she began to realize that she was seeing a distinct pattern. She found that many of the women were involved with men who were afflicted with character disorders, but, none of them fit the two major types of character disorders, which are:

1. Narcissist A person that exhibits this type of character disorder, displays a need to be admired.



2. Sociopath, the new terminology associated with the word Psychopath: A person that exhibits this type of character disorder, displays an inability to function within the guidelines of society. The lack a conscience, the absence of responsibility and incompetence in dealing with society in a manner which is prescribed by society.

Persons with character disorders have little capacity for guilt, empathy, remorse or anxiety - emotions that are uncomfortable but necessary monitors of our ethical and moral interactions with other people.

Dr. Forward, found that many of the women that were her clients, were involved with men that were assuming control of their partners' lives and were insensitive to the pain that this caused. The type of disorder which Dr. Forward found, didn't fit neither the narcissist nor the sociopath. Unlike the narcissist, this man seemed to need to control more than he needed to be admired, and unlike the sociopath, he was, for the most part, responsible and competent in dealing with society. His destructive behavior was not generalized as wass that of the sociopath, in fact it was very focused, unfortunately, it was focused almost exclusively on his partner.

She goes on to explain that he used for weapons his words and his moods. While he tended not to physically abuse the woman in his life, he systematically wore her down through psychological battering, which in the end is every bit as emotionally devastating as physical violence. Dr. Forward remembered the word for woman hater: Misogynist from miso meaning hate and gyne meaning woman. This word has been in the language for several hundreds of years, it is usually used to describe mass murderers, rapists, and others who acted out violently against women. Certainly these criminals were Misogynists in the most lethal sense of the word. Dr. Forward was convinced that the men she was trying to define were also misogynists, only their choice of weapons was different.

Dr. Forward began to ask her patients the following questions about their relationship with the men in their lives and you can ask yourself these same questions.

The quiz below is not graded. This quiz is designed from Dr. Forward's own questions to her clients. I have included this quiz here merely as a guideline to help you find out by your own answers if indeed you are in a mistogynistic relatinship or not and this quiz is not intended to replace the services of a trained professional. If you answered yes to most of the questions in the quiz, chances are that at present you may be involved in a misogynistic relationship and you should seek the guidance of a trained professional in the field of domestic violence to help you deal with the situation. Please answer the following questions below, "yes" or "no", by clicking on the corresponding radio button. Thank you.


Questions

1. Does he assume the right to control how you live or behave?
   Yes
   No
   
   
2. Have you given up important activities or people in your life in order to keep him happy?
   Yes
   No
   
   
3. Does he devalue your oppinions, your feelings, and your accomplishments?
   Yes
   No
   
   
4. Does he yell, threaten or withdraw into angry silences when you displease him?
   Yes
   No
   
   
5. Do You walk on egg shells, rehearsing what you will say so as not to set him off?
   Yes
   No
   
   
6. Does he bewilder you by switching from charm to rage without warning?
   Yes
   No
   
   
7. Do you often feel confused, off-balance or inadequate with him?
   Yes
   No
   
   
8. Is he extremely jealous and possessive?
   Yes
   No
   
   
9. Does he blame you for everything that goes wrong in the relationship?
   Yes
   No
   
   

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